Are We There Yet?

 

Are We There Yet?

The titular “Wee Room” is a safe haven at the bottom of our garden where friends gather, music is played, books are read and ideas flow. It certainly saved my sanity during lockdown, it was a place I could go, watch the birds, be close to nature and to just be.

The oft heard refrain of, “are we there yet?”, usually, but not always, from youngsters whilst travelling, is resonating with me as I move into my remaining weeks at Scottish Autism.

Well, we are just about there, and I have a newfound empathy for anyone who has ever posed the question.

Whilst I haven’t spent the last few months staring out the window of a car, I have been on a journey towards something, that feels exciting, that I very much want but that have no real idea how it will be when I get there.

There is also more than a little emotion attached to what I am leaving behind. Being part of a large organisation brings challenges, but it also gives a sense of security and belonging that often goes unnoticed day to day.

Retirement forces you to confront all the things you wont miss about work but those that you will often hit you at full speed.

There have been quite a few pitstops en route to the big R. The most recent being the big clear out. The amount of stuff, I have convinced myself is of vital importance is quite impressive. It is tempting just to get shredding and sorting but I am glad that I took a minute, ok, lots of minutes, to look at papers, cuttings, photographs, reports and endless notes. In its own way my personal mountain of stuff captured so many moments in the changing face of social care and of the organisation where I have spent most of my career.

I came across my original letter of appointment from 1990, to the then “Scottish Society for Autistic children”. I was offered the role of “Assistant Principal for Day Services” in a service that supported twenty autistic adults. The job title baffles me now however it was indicative of where the organisation was at the time. Having opened our school, the next logical step for our founders was to think about support for adults. Of course, they used their tried and tested structure to develop that but adult services aren’t the same and its thankfully, not terminology that has been used in a long time.

There are lots of photographs of openings of services, play days, conferences and one of me hugely pregnant! There are newspaper clippings, notebooks, lots of notebooks, conference freebies, annual reports and so many, way too many, review and consultation documents that, at best, have nudged us towards something better.

These artifacts are important on a personal level, but they are also part of the story of how society has changed in its understanding of autism and autistic people. There is, of course a long way to go but when I see that letter offering me a job in what would have been a groundbreaking service at the time. When I reflect that we thought it was reasonable to ask twenty people to share a “home”, I know with full certainty that progress has been made.

People are of course a huge part of work. So many autistic children, adults and their families have shaped the person I have become. Colleagues within and outwith my organisation have become friends and we have shared so many adventures, in the broadest sense of the word. All my major life events, joys and losses have happened whilst I worked for Scottish Autism. I guess what I am trying to say is, take time to lift your head and to appreciate the people around you, what they have made you, and to learn the lessons that the good, the bad and everything in between teaches you.

Me and my wee room are moving into a new way of living and of working. I like to call it retirement “light”. It is reassuring that when I started to tell people I was retiring so many of them said “no, you’re not!”.

For now , I am refuelling, restocking and putting a new destination into my sat nav. I will be sharing the co-ordinates with you all very soon.

Meanwhile, before you reach for the shredder, imagine yourself 30 years on and the memories that article, photo or letter is going to evoke for you, then put it in a safe place to be rediscovered when the time is just right.